HOMIES HELP HOMIES. ALWAYS

"When She Wakes She Will Move Mountains"

dildoreo:

dildoreo:

one time i took a picture of a tiger at the zoo and the tiger smiled for the picture it was very great and the best picture i’ve ever taken

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ewmartin:

crazy-jensenackles-fangirl:

so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.

I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me

sherlokianddestielinthetardis:

Nick grimshaw tried to recreate doctor who

homevvrecker:

if i haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you don’t worry it will happen 

gayturians:

lyraffect:

gayturians:

once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory

You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone

go big or go home

e-zekiel:

cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.

boite-de-rhythm:

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey



I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let loose and try to prank people

wow, maybe he left them because he couldn’t
Carrey them all Jimself

boite-de-rhythm:

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey

image

I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let loose and try to prank people

wow, maybe he left them because he couldn’t

Carrey them all Jimself

One time I slept over at my friends house and he told me that sometimes when he can't sleep he plays halo and he asked me if I cared and I said no as long as the volume wasn't too high. I woke up at 2a.m. to the song Halo by beyonce and I looked at my friend all confused and he just looked at me and said I can't sleep

punkmonksteven:

ammit420:

horror movie synopsis

  • white family moves into house
  • the house got some shit in it
  • family refuses to acknowledge that they got some shit in they house
  • turns out that shit is some ultrashit

destiel-is-music:

parttimeyoutuber:

cockyteenblogger:

i don’t understand shark movies i mean just get out of the water

THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT WAS

THEY CAN’T GET OUT OF THE WATER

THEY’RE SHARKS

I LAUGHED SO LOUDLY AT THIS OMFG 

dual-scar:

dual-scar:

my favorite part of halloween is finding the fake spider decorations all over the house afterwards and getting scared of them for a split second

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NOT A FAKE SPIDER DECORATION I REPEAT THIS WAS NOT A FAKE FUCKING SPIDER FUCKKFJDSFDSFDS

animes-books-and-movies:

danaorherdouble:

casandkittens:

gandalfthesassy:

casandkittens:

today a kid in my Drama class got detention but he pulled a Monopoly get Out Of Jail free card out of his wallet and my teacher let him out of it

how do you get detention in drama

long story short he kicked the ceiling by accident

how do you kick a ceiling

on accident

How do you kick a ceiling